My Mission Statement is to bring you positive reviews of movies that I see. There is far too many reviewers out there that Have nothing nice to say about the films that they review. I am here to help you find a movie that you will like and not to tell you what not to see.
Let me talk a little bit about rednecks. They get a pretty bum rap especially in horror flicks.
Here is the recipe for one of these flicks.
A group of college kids go out to the woods to drink, smoke Dope and have pre-marital sex and at some point run afoul of some local yokels that proceed to chop slash and mutilate them.
That is the basic Slice and dice, but did you ever think of it from the redneck’s point of view.
Well that is the plot of Tucker and Dale vs Evil. A Horror/Comedy currently available.
This is the story of Tucker and Dale a couple of friendly rednecks that have just purchased their new vacation home and they have to fix it up.
Now there is a good chance that the cabin in the woods may have belonged to one of the members of the Texas Chainsaw family because it is covered with Bones and plenty of creepy news clippings of past crimes and disappearances in the area. Tucker and Dale have their own ideas about their origins.
Well there are also a bunch of College kids heading out there for their party activities and they run into the duo and make up their own minds about them and a simple misunderstanding results in a massive bloodbath.
This flick is both entertaining and funny as Hell with great blend of both Slapstick comedy and Bloody kills. Fans of Sean of the Dead and Texas Chainsaw Massacre alike will enjoy it.
Definitely tells you not to judge a book by it's cover.
I say that it is a good Saturday night movie to check out with a six-pack of Beer and your friends. I definitely see a cult following in the future.
11 Dead Bodies
2 Breasts
5 Beasts
1 Car chase
1 Explosion
2 Impalings
1 Burning
Weed eater to the face
Machete to the Throat
Finger Fu
College student Fu
Saw Blade Fu
Wood Chipper Fu
I am a huge John Carpenter fan. I admit that he is who inspired me the most to become a filmmaker.
I had the honor to meet him at the 2010 Texas Frightmare Weekend.
(Which the DVD featuring an EXCLUSIVE QnA with Carpenter and the cast of Christine is available at www.texasfrightmarevideo.com).
Now with the exception of two episodes of Masters of Horror Carpenter has not directed a flick in a decade, Not since 2001’s Ghosts of Mars. He did help produce some flicks but other than that he had taken some well-deserved time off.
Now he has returned with John Carpenter’s The Ward.
This was a Damn Good Flick and I am not just saying that because the director is one of my favorites,My Manager was watching the flick as well and she agreed.
It is the story of a young woman who after setting fire to a farmhouse is arrested and taken to mental hospital and placed in a ward with four other girls. It turns out that there is a malevolent spirit in the ward that is picking off the girls one by one and are preventing them from escaping the Asylum.
The flick definitely has the Girl Interrupted meets The Ring feel as Amber Heard tries to piece together the identity of the supernatural menace leading us to a twist that even I did not see coming.
Kudos go to Amber Heard as Kristen and to Jared Harris as Dr Stringer.
It definitely shows that Carpenter hasn’t lost his touch.
Cinematography was excellent. However it felt different that Carpenter did not score the movie as he had so many in his past. That being my only Issue and I can accept it.
5 Dead Bodies
0 Breasts
1 Beast
1 Spike to the Eye
1 Electrocution
1 Slashing
You want to know something; I was researching for my current movie project watching this new show on Investigation Discovery called Stalked: Someone is watching hosted by Michelle Ward.
Well I was taking into consideration that most of these cases feature a woman being stalked by a man and I started thinking that the documentaries and news specials feature that type of stalking but movies feature a woman stalking a man.
Now the documentaries show this because it is the most common which makes me wonder why the narrative film shows the opposite.
Lets look at it we have Fatal Attraction where Michael Douglas has a brief affair with Glen Close and she stalks him and boils bunnies and such because she “Is not going to be ignored” as well as 2001’s Swimfan, 1995’s Malicious with Molly Ringwald which I do recommend to all of you. 2009 Had the flick Obsessed with Ali Larter, and we all remember the Crush with Alicia Silverstone and Cary Elwes.
Now to my knowledge the only real movie that features a Woman being stalked by a man in a non Slasher kind of way is 1982’s The Seduction starring Andrew Stephens and Morgan Fairchild.
Now If I have forgotten any flicks please leave me a comment naming it because I can’t think of any others.
Now there is another flick that has the woman being stalked by a man.
Please let me take this moment to mention Hammer Films which is one is one of the greatest Horror Production companies that is currently making a comeback along with Ammicus to bring us modern horror movies.
I want to go into more detail about the flicks but all of you horror fans already know about them and If you aren’t a horror fan then I have to wonder why you are reading my reviews.
Now let’s get on to the flick.
Hillary Swank plays an ER Doctor who finds the perfect apartment with a great landlord and his Grandfather (played by the incomparable Christopher Lee in a different kind of role for him). All goes well at first she even finds herself attracted to her landlord (Jeffery Dean Morgan). That is until the flick reverses itself and we are shown his point of view and see that he has devised the whole thing and just how far he will take obsession.
Believe me it is pretty creepy especially when Swank gets back with her estranged boyfriend.
This flick is definitely worth checking out. The pacing is very suspenseful in a DePalma kind of way. It is shot very nicely as well as the characters are all likable as it is shot and you find yourself feeling sorry for the stalker before he makes you hate him when he crosses that line of no return.
Fans of Psycho I recommend this to.
3 Dead Bodies
2 Breasts (Possibly a Body Double)
1 Beast
3 Stars
Check it out
As I have pointed out many times before I am a fan of many things. I am a huge fan of many franchises and one of is the Fast and the Furious Franchise.
Now I have to admit that when the flick first came out I didn’t see it in the theatre. I have to say that the add campaign didn’t exactly win me over. I sat in the theatre to see the Mummy Returns and all I saw was cars and the plot sounded like a ripoff of Point Break.
A year later I decided to check out the flick on DVD and I loved the flick and bought the DVD the next day.
In 2003 I was in Las Vegas when 2 Fast 2 Furious opened and I also checked out the flick. Yes I liked the flick but not as much as the first one.
I admit that when Tokyo Drift came out I passed on it because I heard that no members of the original cast were in the flick. Then I checked out the flick in 2008 and saw the last cameo with Vin Diesel .
I knew when I saw the Trailer for Fast and Furious exactly what it was before I saw Dom Toretto and Letty robbing a gas tanker and I drove my car and watched the flick at the Galaxy Drive-In on I-30.
Needless to say I am a fan and I read the reviews of Fast five and they were pretty much all the same in the comments that only the fans would go see this flick and I am a little bothered by that statement.
You see Yes I am a fan and it was a much different flick than the others. This flick was much more of a Heist flick. More like Ocean’s Eleven than Fast and Furious.
Now I am not going to complain about that because I liked the change in direction and I love the inclusion of The Rock in the series.
What I liked the most about this flick is that it starred characters from all of the other flicks.
Now Fast Five did have some drawbacks. This is the first in the series that seemed to have a contract with Dodge that was almost exclusive. The final chase sequence felt like a 2011 Dodge Charger commercial.
Now I am here to review the BluRay and the special features are outstanding. I definitely recommend the pocketBlu App that has some exclusive features and views. There are some documentaries on the BluRay that are worth the price of the disc alone.
12 Dead Bodies
0 Breasts
5 Car Chases
1 Demolished Bank
13 Smashed Cars
2 ½ Stars
Check it out
Well this past Friday the gang and I decided to give the Alamo a break this weekend since I had been there almost all week and it is almost time for Fantastic Fest and then they decided to watch a flick that I would not be caught dead inside so I decided to go check out Creature.
I am surprised that this flick had received a theatrical wide release because it struck me as a flick that would be in the Direct to DVD shelves or in the vending machines or streaming on the net but no It was in the Theatres. As a matter of fact I was surprised that it wasn’t at the Alamo.
I am also surprised that this flick wasn’t a “SyFy Original Movie”.
Now the reason that I point this out is that I was one of three people sitting in the theatre, That is a sad state of affairs.
The flick is maybe too ahead of the October Halloween crowd but this will be the first year that there is not a Saw sequel in the theatres for quite some time however the flick did have the trailer for Paranormal Activity’s third installation coming out this October.
We need some good mainstream Horror that isn’t a remake or part of a tired franchise that is R Rated and I have to ask is anyone else out there tired of the PG era that we have in Horror, I mean if it isn’t produced by Spielberg then why not go for the UNRATED crowd this here flick was a good try.
The plot is something that we have all heard before a group of young people all head out from the city to the country to go camping and they stop by a gas station that is run by Sid Haig (boy does this sound familiar) and then they are told about a local legend (That sounds familiar again) and they decide to head out and look for the local monster. (I am almost expecting Bill Moseley and Sherri Moon Zombie to pop up somewhere but that isn’t going to happen).
However then there is the twist that I didn’t see coming and this slasher flick becomes a crossbreed between Hatchet and Deliverance but it still maintains its decency and does not go off in a Lake Dead kind of direction. That is all that I am going to give you for now as I want you guys to go catch this flick preferably in a place that has a liquor license since this is a six pack kind of flick.
Fans of creepy monsters from lakes will be very happy as there are some Black Lagoon moments as well as a reference to Spider Baby which was the Great Sid Haig’s first flick. The flick is full of unlikable characters and some likable but you find yourself rooting for the monster to kill everyone but this flick goes off in a way too creepy direction but like I have mentioned earlier I am happy that this flick is an R Rated Horror.
I definitely recommend this flick to the late night monster no brainer crowd.
9 Dead Bodies
8 Breasts
3 Beasts
4 Bad Accents
Hands Roll
Feet Roll
Heads Roll
Kudos to Sid Haig for showing us how important a good Villain is in a horror story
2 ½ Stars
Check it out
I love the Planet of the Apes. I admit it; as a matter of fact I have always admitted it. I like all of them. Even the 2001 Tim Burton fiasco that not too many people what to admit happened.
I recently attended an event at the Drafthouse that they called Day of the Apes. Now what that was a marathon on one Sunday morning that began with the first Planet of the Apes flick starring Charlton Heston and Roddy McDowell, followed by Beneath the Planet of the Apes, Escape from the Planet of the Apes, Then Conquest of the Planet of the Apes and ending with Battle for Planet of the Apes.
Now of those flicks the one that I want to talk about is Conquest. Many consider it the best in the series, second only to the original. I have to admit that I like this flick more than the others in the series.
Conquest is the tale of the real origin of the Planet. The story is that a plague has killed off all of the dogs and cats on Earth and mankind’s pets have been replaced by apes. Eventually Apes are made into slaves and are forced to do meaningless tasks and are beaten and abused for disobeying. That is until Caesar comes along and after hearing of the death of his friend and caretaker (Ricardo Montalban) arranges a revolution that results in the Apes taking over the world with the line
“Tonight we have seen the birth of the Planet of the Apes.”
When that line was said at the screening the whole theatre erupted into applause.
This year has seen the release of the Remake/Reboot of that flick.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes.
Now this flick is not a prequel to the 2001 Ape flick this is a reboot of the Ape series.
The story follows James Franco as a scientist trying to find the cure for Alzheimer’s that his father is suffering. He is experimenting on a drug/virus on Chimpanzees that result in one chimp going crazy. (Anyone else reminded of Deep Blue Sea) It is then revealed that this chimpanzee had a baby and was pregnant while the tests were conducted. That baby becomes Caesar an super smart simian that sadly is placed in a zoo like shelter where he is mistreated by the caretakers and begins to start a revolution. That is all I want to say about the plot because there are some cool twists that I don’t want to give away right now.
Now I have to say there is some damn good CGI at play here in this flick. Sometimes I thought that I was watching the 2005 King Kong flick especially when I saw Andy Serkis in the role of Caesar.
The story also kept me interested in the fact that I did not feel that I have seen all of this before, in the fact that the new material is fresh and relevant and a brand new story to an old tale.
The acting is great especially from James Franco and John Lithgow. I was also enjoying the rest of the cast comprising mostly of lesser known but familiar faces from Television and other Sci-Fi flicks.
The use of references to the previous Ape flicks I also loved.
7 Dead Humans
3 Dead Apes
0 Breasts
32 Beasts
1 Explosion
1 Crashed Mustang
Human Fu
Ape Fu
Extra points for making me think that these Apes are smarter than the people in Washington right now.
Well I am having a great time here in my new home in Austin.
I really love it especially the fact that I live so near the Alamo Drafthouse.
Now let me talk a little about this here Drafthouse.
They recently received a lot of headlines recently because some girl was inside of the place and was texting in the theatre and was kicked out. Well our infamous texter called and left an angry voicemail saying that she was allowed to text in a THE-A-TER because this was the MAGNITED STATES OF AMERICA…Which I am still trying to figure out there that is.
Anyway Kiddies I can tell all of you something about the Alamo Drafthouse. You see there not only is no commercials for Sprite or lame Coca Cola short films.
What you get instead is a pre movie reel that is relevant about movie that you are about to see.
For example the first flick that I checked out there was Scream 4 and what they showed was a trailer reel of the previous Scream flicks as well as other Scream Rip offs and a few more obscure flicks that many of you may not recognize.
Then when it is Showtime you are shown a funny video making it clear that cellphones, Talking, and Texting is not allowed which makes it clear on no uncertain terms that you will be thrown out and not get a refund.
Another thing that she said is that it was too dark in the theatre and she was using her phone as a flashlight to find her seat. I’ll tell you something a real good friend of mine works at the Alamo and his job is to run food and drinks to the tables and it is not that dark so.
This chick has to be legally blind and if that is the case then what in the blue Hell is she doing going to the movies anyway.
Needless to say what we here Kiddies is a spoiled brat who can’t handle being punished for her actions. I tip my hat to the Drafthouse for using this to their advantage.
Now on to the flick.
Last week Eric and I decided to head over to the Drafthouse and check out a screening of Troll Hunter.
The plot is about a group of filmmakers that are following what they think is a hunter that is illegally poaching bears only to find out that he is in fact following trolls and that he works for the government keeping the local troll population under control while finding a way to humanly dispose of them.
This is one of the more interesting of the found footage genre in the fact that you actually get to see the monster in all of it’s glory and not in fleeting glimpses like many other flicks such as Cloverfield and Blair Witch.
Generally this a pretty good flick it makes you laugh and It keeps the suspence up when it matters.
I was impressed mostly by the special effects in the fact that the trolls looked real though clearly CGI but good CGI there are some model scenes but they are cut well into the movie.
Now this flick is Norwegian and it does have subtitles but you don’t have to be fast to read the dialogue and watch the movie and you won’t even notice after a while like most international flicks.
1 Dead Body
0 Breasts
8 Trolls
Exploding Trolls
Stone Trolls
Man in Armor vs Troll Scene
Truck vs Troll Scene
1 Car Chase
Human Fu
Christian Fu
Troll Fu
